23. The Biggest Mistakes in Fiction Books (and how to fix them!)

In this episode of Show, don’t Tell Writing, Suzy breaks down the top five mistakes she frequently sees in fiction manuscripts—and how to fix them. No matter where you are in the writing process, this practical advice will help you avoid the pitfalls that can derail your book's success. From poorly chosen endings to bloated word counts, Suzy explains how addressing these issues can transform your story and keep readers engaged.

Resources Mentioned:

• “Slay Your Bloated Word Count”

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Transcript

0:49

Welcome to Show Don't Tell Writing with me, Suzy Vadori, where I teach you the tried and true secrets to writing fiction and nonfiction that will wow your readers, broken down step by step. This show explores writing techniques and shows you a glimpse behind the scenes of successful writing careers and coaches writers live on their pages so you can learn and transform your own storytelling. Whether you're just starting out grafting, editing, or currently rewriting your first book or maybe even your 10th, this show will help you unlock the writing skills you didn't know you needed but you definitely do. I'm looking forward to helping you get your amazing ideas for From your mind onto the page in an exciting way for both you and your readers so that you can achieve your wildest writing dreams while having fun doing it. Let's dive in. Oh my gosh. This is the episode that has been bubbling up in me since I started this podcast. The one that listeners always ask for. And it's one of the biggest mistakes that I see in fiction writers drafts over and over and over again that you might be able to learn from. Because I meet with thousands of writers every single year at my sessions, at my events, talking with them about their book writing dreams and sharing practical advice. And we And provide specific editing advice on about a hundred books per year. And those writers also get feedback during that time that we work together from their agents, from their publishers, and from their readers that I am privy to. There are definitely patterns and I find myself giving the same feedback in different ways for different books because it shows up differently. But essentially, I see the same main errors over and over again, and no, I'm not talking about grammar. Okay. This is get your book professionally edited and that problem goes away. I'm talking about structurally decisions that you, the writers can make to make your book, your idea, your voice, the strongest it can possibly be. This list that I'm going to have in this episode is for fiction. Although. For a novel, although much of the advice will also apply to memoir, which is writing your autobiography and business books as well. And I will be creating specific episodes for those genres in the future, but for now, if you're writing something other than a novel, this advice is still a good start, no matter what kind of book you're writing. I've been adding to this list and trimming it in my mind for weeks, but I'm excited to share it with you in plain language as only I do what these mistakes are and frankly, how you can fix them when deciding what to put on the list. I mean, I could talk about this all day, and I'm not even exaggerating. Some days I do. But I'm choosing just the mistakes that will actually make your book automatically not work. And what I mean by that is that these will earn you an instant rejection if you're querying or trying to traditionally publish. Or, they might, if you get it all the way into print, they will probably make a reader put it down and stop reading. Okay? Sorry to be so dramatic on you, but yes, these mistakes can mean the difference between your book starting a conversation with the world, getting read and loved and shared, or that exact same book wasting away as number one million on the Amazon charts. With no readers at all. So it's worth paying attention. That's right. I'm saying the same book. Your same idea. Your same thoughts. Your same strategy. Presented in a slightly different way. But the good news is, all these mistakes are fixable. And you don't have to change your vision, your intention, or your voice. So let's dive in. Mistake number one. Not ending the book where you should. Okay, I'll back up a little bit because there's lots of advice out there on where to open your book. And yes, writers get that wrong, too. But that first chapter gets so much love and attention already. If you're like any of the writers that I work with, you've probably reworked that a dozen times. It's super important. Don't overlook it, but it doesn't belong on this list. Because many writers have actually figured this out by the time they work with me. More commonly, where your book ends is the problem. So many versions of Story Mountain, you know that visual diagram that I talk about all the time, where story starts and then action builds to a climax and then it falls. And it looks like a mountain when it's graphed out. Many versions that I see of this show the climax, or the peak of your mountain, the peak of your story, sitting in the middle of the book, or just slightly after. This is wrong. In fact, your climax should happen almost at the end of your book. It's like a lopsided mountain. Once the big problem in your story has resolved, one way or another, doesn't have to be a good way, right, or a happy way, It's race to get the book wrapped up, because there's no suspense left. If you've got a ton of things in your book after your climax, it starts to feel like, and then this happened, and then this happened. Guess what? Your readers are done. They've lost interest, and they won't finish your book. That being said, make sure there's time for a denouement. Now, The word denouement is going out of fashion. I'm going to try to bring it back. And I'm going to tell you why. Because it's not even taught in schools anymore. When I do school visits, I make sure that I mention the denouement. Because it's been replaced on the story mountain diagram with simply the word ending. Ending is so abrupt. It's like, it's done. And that's the next problem. If a writer just ends the story. It can be wholly unsatisfying to your reader, and they're left not wanting more. Sometimes writers think that if we just end it, they're gonna want more, right? That's what we hope, but that isn't the case. They're left empty. They've had a sneeze stuck in their nose that they can't get out, right? It's annoying, and it's not gonna get you five star reviews, even if the rest of your book was great. Okay, this is where the denouement part comes in. Take the Cinderella story, which I love to teach with because everybody knows it and it fits the most satisfying story shape so perfectly. The Cinderella story is over the moment the glass slipper fits, right? That's the moment that the story is really done. Nothing else really happens. I mean, nothing important happens, right? So, the last slipper fits, and the footmen confirm her identity. What if your story ended there? Or what if the Cinderella story ended there? We have all the information, but instead, we get to go to the wedding! Why do we go to the wedding? You can probably picture the Disney rendition of the Cinderella story in your mind's eye. Cinderella with the prince on her arm, in her shimmering white dress, floating down the stairs. This denouement, or Cinderella's new normal, quote unquote, is shown so that the audience can experience her transformation. Her transformation in that story is from rags to riches, which is her character arc. And you want to imagine what her new life will be like, and sort of have that extra scene to experience it. The denouement is a chance to say goodbye to your characters. Which your readers need, so that they don't leave your book with a book hangover. Right? That's what we call it when you're sort of unsatisfied, a book hangover, where you're wanting more, but it's not, like, in a good way. This Day New Mom works both for happy endings, like the Cinderella story, or unhappy ones. Like, if the story were really about the stepsisters Maybe the unhappy endings de Noument would be them having to scrub their own floors, right? And we'd see that scene instead to experience what the stepsisters new normal is before we leave the story. I'm gonna say more on choosing whose story you're telling in mistake number two, but first I'm gonna give you a few more tips so that your ending doesn't make readers throw your book across the room when they're done. Nothing in your ending, or denouement, should be new information. This is where you wrap up all the threads that you've opened in the book. And lastly, it's said in the book industry, and I just love this, but it's a really tall order, that a great ending is both surprising, yet inevitable. Lots of times we get the surprise right as writers, because we want that, but we don't get the inevitable part right. So, as in, You didn't see it coming, or the reader didn't see it coming, but once they finish your book, there's no other way they can think of or imagine that it could end. This is what creates reader satisfaction. All the clues as to how your book will end should be planted all the way along in your book. It's a huge conundrum. I know it's a tall order, but test the ending you have against the surprising yet inevitable standard and see how it holds up. Oh, I could probably do a whole episode just on creating a satisfying ending. And if you want this, please leave a note in the comments and I'll add an episode like that in the future. But for now, we're going to move on to mistake number two. Mistake number two is not choosing one person's story. Okay, this is going to be the most controversial one on this list. So bring on the arguments. I'm happy to discuss it, but I can guarantee you If you haven't chosen one of your characters as your main character, your story structure does not work. And yes, I'm aware that your story might have more than one point of view character, as in you're writing in more than one voice. Your story might even be written in an omniscient point of view, following many characters thoughts and emotions. You could be writing in a genre such as romance, which commonly tells the same story from both sides of a relationship. Or you might be wanting to show the journey of group of five friends. I've heard it all, but I promise you, it doesn't matter. Pick one character that you want readers to care about the most. This is important. Pick the one that you want us to cheer the hardest for. This is sometimes, it's almost always an easy choice when I, when I phrase it like that. Then, map your book around that character's arc of change. And that becomes your spine, that one character's arc of change. That is the spine to your novel's structure. Yes, the other characters also have arcs of change. They do. And they may be really important, and they may be really awesome, and you still need that. But other character or supporting character's arc should weave in and out around that. Your main character's arc, mirroring them, contrasting what's happening, pushing them to change. This is what creates satisfying moments in a multiple point of view book. If you don't do this and you build all these separate arcs independently, they're going to clash and confuse your reader. They're not going to weave together the same way. They won't give the reader these satisfying moments and they might not finish your book. So be ruthless. Name one character as your main. Hey, mistake number three. What does your character want? Sometimes my clients say I'm a broken record because they can't believe that they missed this in the scene. I'm like, alright, I'm gonna be a broken record again. Hey, what does your character want in this scene? This one is so fundamental, I can't even express to you how many times it's missed. Because we're so worried about the plot that we forget about what your character's up to. You need to establish what your character wants A. S. A. P. in a book to hook a reader like this. I'm talking page one, right? Page one, page two, maybe. But what does your character want? This can be an overall goal for the entire book or a scene level goal, right? But you need to have something that they're trying to do in your scene. Because if you establish this, readers can track all the stuff they do to try to get it, right? This is called agency, and I can get into that another time. But if you have this and this goal, We're going to cheer for them. Your readers are going to cheer for them when they succeed or cry with them when they fail. As long as we can see that, number one, your character wants something. Okay, and number two, they're actually making decisions that they think will help them get it. If they're wrong, or especially if they're wrong, have them make decisions. If you don't establish what your character wants, like, right away, And they're just letting things happen to them without deciding anything, you're dead. The scene is flat, and readers don't care about your character, and they're not going to keep turning the pages. On this one, they also get pushback, so if you're thinking, This in your mind, I'm gonna voice it, but Susie writers say you're missing my point. My character isn't bossy or extroverted, going around changing everything, being assertive, and showing what they want. I want to demonstrate a different character, one who's introverted or a wallflower. And she's gonna start making decisions later in the book as she changes, just be patient. Okay, to that I say yes to introverted or wallflower characters, do it. But no, you're not exempt from making this work in your book. Don't make the mistake of thinking that introverted or wallflower characters are less interested in their circumstances or less opinionated in what happens to them in this world. If you're a person with these traits or you live and work with many, as I do, you know that this is true. Just because those characters don't wear their intention on their sleeve or go around shouting about it Doesn't mean that they don't have a goal or that they're not controlling what happens to them. In books, you have this cool thing It's inner thoughts, right? It's the one thing that books have that movies and other mediums don't have. Use it! You have inner thoughts as a tool, as a technique. Show their intention, their actions, and their emotions. Just because they're not shouting out about it Doesn't mean that they're not making the decision to stay home, right? Doesn't mean that they're making the decision not to get involved. Show us. If they're not acting on their intention, show us that it's a choice still, and that they are affecting their own destiny. Then we'll care. Okay. Mistake number four. Repeating sections or not building an arc of change in. Repeating information your reader already knows is the kiss of death. It's boring for your reader, and it doesn't move your story forward. You might be building scenes that have word count, but are redundant, so pay attention, okay? Writers will often justify this repetition when we have this conversation by saying, Suzie, yeah, the reader saw the battle, but now she's telling her sister about it, and that has to happen too. Okay, yes, they totally get you. Maybe the sister needs to know what happens in your book for your book to make sense, except watching the sister gasp, I feel shocked at all the moments when a reader has already witnessed firsthand at the battle. They, they attended the battle and watched it unfold. It's not exciting to watch the sister react. We've already been through that emotional rollercoaster once. And we're not going to want to do it again, okay? If you have a scene like this, cut it. We'll place it with a summary, a simple, she filled her sister in on the battle, would do just fine. And if you still feel that you need to repeat something, make sure, please, please, please, think of your reader, okay? If the reader already has information, don't share it. If you must share it, because otherwise, it absolutely doesn't make sense in your brain. Make sure that you're adding new information for the reader who's paying attention. Reward them. Build on your reader's understanding of what happened to reward them. If they're paying attention, keep them engaged. So, for example, if we witnessed the battle firsthand, maybe in the recap where she has to share it with her sister, We're going to find out new information, such as how the character is now having nightmares about participating in this battle, or that they got new information that their own side staged the attack that set the whole thing off. I don't know what belongs there, but let's shut the parts that we already know and add something new. Okay? This technique of building on information can work for any concept that's repeated several times, even if it's small. So, if you have something like this that comes up again and again and you're not sure if it's like redundant or if you need it, see if you can map a way that every time it's mentioned there's something in it for your reader and that their understanding deepens. Last but not least, and you'll want to hear me mention this one a lot, mistake number five, your word count. Some writers will tell you to make your story as long or as short as it is or as it needs to be, that it doesn't matter. This is really bad advice, because once you choose a genre or category for your book, and this is a must by the way, your book is going to sit on a shelf in a bookstore or be displayed online next to others that are like it. Your book being offered in that category is simply the act of it being there. Sets up expectations for your reader because reading a hundred page book versus a four hundred page book is a completely different Experience and will attract a different reader and if you break their expectations You might end up turning off a reader for no reason other than this even if your book is perfect Otherwise, it is such an easy thing to pay attention to Don't ignore it. In the industry, it's standard to consider word count, or the number of words that are in your book or manuscript, rather than page count, because the page count can be manipulated based on the layout of the book. So word count, you're going to find it if you open up your word processor. Then you're going to find it in the bottom left corner, likely, or you can poke around if it's not there. If you have a different word processor than me, look up word count. Look at other books to figure out what is normal in your category or what is sort of the norm or the standard. Look at other books in your genre or category to get a sense of this. It can range from, like, 50, 000 words is a short book, and it might be appropriate for middle grade, right, for, like, 9 to 12 year olds. Or in a business self help book where there's tons of white space, then 50, 000 might be great. It could go all the way to 80, 000 for a business or self help book. It could go all the way up to 120, 000. for certain categories of adult fantasy or science fiction. If you're wildly low or high on the normal range for your genre, you're going to annoy your readers. Meaning, they're not going to give you a five star review and they're not going to share the book with their friends. Because most writers that I meet, when they get this wrong, they have books that are way too long. These writers will justify this when we meet. By pointing to the one breakout novel in their category, that's the exception to the rule. Don't do this. You're shooting yourself in the foot. Because if there are exceptions in your categories, there are reasons. And the most common reason is that the writer is already a big deal. And that's not true. The publisher or the writer, if they're self publishing, knows they're going to sell lots of books. So the fact that everything costs more to handle, right? The longer the book you have, everything costs more. From editing, to layout, to paper for the print copy, right? The actual pages of the book, to recording the audio book and paying an actor or recording it yourself and getting it edited. Everything costs more the longer your book is. And a publisher can make this investment for an established author. They are not, you know, they'll take that risk because they are pretty sure it's going to pay off. They won't make that investment on a new writer. Instead, you're going to earn an instant rejection or like kind of an eye roll, like, Oh, this writer didn't do their homework. Now, when I share these things, it is not this one in particular. Is not a hundred percent. There are people out there that will give your book a chance if they love it enough, but why make it harder on yourself? If you query a hundred agents and only two of them are even going to look at it because they're the ones who are okay with the word count being berserk. You're limiting yourself. Bring it in the range. Bring it in the range. If your plan is to self or independently publish, you're the one footing the bill. So we talk a lot on this podcast and I talk a lot with writers about making a business of it in the business of writing. You're the one fitting the bill. So in addition to potentially disappointing your readers, giving them a book that's way longer than they expect, Your costs are going to be higher to produce the book and unless you want to charge 50 for your paperback, which I don't recommend, you're going to make less money for every copy that you sell. So hear me. If your book is too long right now, don't worry. There are ways to get your word count under control without losing anything from your story. I get it. You don't want to cut it in half. You don't want to delete a whole bunch of stuff. You don't have to, necessarily. I've outlined these in an article I wrote for the Writers Helping Writers blog called Slay Your Bloated Word Count. I'll drop a link to this in the show notes. I could talk about writing all day long and the mistakes that I find, but these are the top five, the ones that if you don't address you're going to have a problem. If you have a topic that I didn't address, you're That you want me to? Or if you have a question that I can answer about your own writing, drop it in the comments and I'll answer it on a future episode. Thanks for tuning in to Show Don't Tell Writing with me, Suzy Vadori. Help me continue to bring you the straight goods for that book you're writing. planning to write. Please consider subscribing to this podcast and leaving a review on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you're listening. Also visit SuzyVedori. com period slash newsletter to hop on my weekly inspired writing newsletter list to stay inspired and be the first to know about upcoming training. LLC. You're feeling brave, check the show notes, and send us a page of your writing that isn't quite where you want it to be yet for our Show Don't Tell page review episodes. Remember, that book you're writing is gonna open doors you haven't even thought of yet, and I can't wait to help you make it the absolute best it can be. You're feeling called to write that book? Keep going, and I'll be right here cheering you on. See you again next week!